A baby’s cry is not easy to ignore. It’s not meant to be. Something is bothering or frightening your baby, and this is the only means that he has to communicate with you. His crying is NOT a rejection of you. His crying is telling you that he loves you and needs you. You cannot “spoil” a child by picking them up when they cry. A spoiled piece of fruit happens when the fruit’s needs are not met. The same is with a child. Your baby will always benefit from a calm, loving mother. This is the same as staying calm when your baby becomes a teenager and is flipping out about something. You are their rock of stability. You know the world is not coming to an end, and you have the ability to let your baby know this. Accept that they are upset, and work from there to help them realize all is well in the world.
When you don’t know what else to do:
- First, realize you might not be maintaining the time schedule you were hoping for, and let that hope and expectation go – Deep soothing breath.
- Is he hungry? Yes, you might have just nursed, but baby’s tummies are small.
- Is he wet? Yes, you might have just checked.
- Does he need to be burped? Try a different position.
- Is it just that he is lonely for you? Does he stop crying when you hold him, and cry when you put him down? Sleep together or get out the baby sling.
- Does the colic hold help? Is this happening at the same time/event every day?
- Take all of baby’s clothing off. Inspect for something rough, prickly, too tight. Look at baby’s skin for any of momma’s hair wrapped around him.
- Too warm? Fever? Are the insides of his ears red? Back of his throat? Teething?
- Too cool?
- Swaddle him and rock him.
- Sing to him.
- Turn on some soft music.
- Hold and glide with baby.
- Put baby in sling and vacuum the house.
- Turn the lights down.
- Is something smelly? Did you put a perfume/lotion on? Did you just clean something?
- Are you using a lotion or soap on your nipples?
- Are you using a spray deodorant?
- Go for a stroll around the block.
- Go outside and relax – baby is very sensitive to your moods.
- Are you hungry? Thirsty? Again, if you aren’t okay, baby probably knows this.
- Are you upset about something? Go talk to someone. Write about it. Work it out. Cry a little. Then…
- How about a bath or shower for both of you?
- Rocking chair. Use a sling and hold him just in case you fall asleep.
- Put baby down and gently pet/pat him – talk to him gently
- Put him in the car-seat, do some laundry, and put baby on top of machine.
- Put baby in the car seat and go for a drive – last resort, you don’t want this to be the nightly routine.
- If you do all of this, it is now hours later, it’s okay to call a Lactation Expert or the Doctor.
At any point baby is calm, nurse him, if only for a little bit, this might help him sleep. But if he has already eaten too much and he is just spitting up, obviously go back to what you were doing and keep going down the list until all is better in the universe. Remember, even an hour later means that he might be hungry, which might NOT have been what he was upset about in the first place.
